Failed IUI cycle

It didn't work this time. Oh well. Thems the breaks I suppose. I was foolish to think we'd get lucky on our first attempt.

I had been spotting for a few days, and went to the RE yesterday. Turns out my blood work was consistent with cycle day 3. So I'm on Clomid as of last night, then I'm also doing estrace day 8 - ovulation. I did the same thing last cycle (Clomid then estrogen) and my lining was at 6mm. The RE said it's the bare minimum, but they tried the IUI anyway. Bare minimum - is that like when you go to an amusement park and there's a sign that says you need to be at least 5 ft tall to go on the ride and if you are exactly 5 ft tall, you get to go on? It doesn't matter if you are an inch above 5 ft or 2 ft above the 5ft requirement. So if 6 mm is the bare minimum then I get to go on the ride so to speak. It didn't work last time but I'm trying again. I'm giving the Clomid one more chance before I ask to be switched to Femara, which I've read does not thin out your lining like Clomid does.

My concern is that I didn't even know AF had started this cycle. I was barely spotting, and my temps were still high and today (day 4) I'm spotting black blood which is exactly as gross as it sounds. I know other ladies with Asherman's Syndrome have said that their RE's are less concerned about the quality of the period...it's the mere fact that you get a period that matters, but I can't help but be disappointed that I didn't get any red blood at all. This is emotionally draining. I'm a wreck at work. I can't seem to focus on actually doing my job. I'm spacing out. I'm reading blogs all day (and happy to be doing so!!). I'm learning so much from others out there who can express themselves much more eloquently than I can.

Today is cd4. Started Clomid last night. I feel totally fine on it, which makes me worried that it's not working for me. I want to be nauseous (or is it nauseated). I want to be bloated. I want to feel like something works in my system. I'm also taking Chinese herbs that my acupuncturist prescribed for me. 30 pills/day - 15 to" tonify my middle qi" - which I didn't even know I had prior to this and 15 more to "harmonize my interior/exterior". That one makes more sense to me. I know i'm tone deaf so it's no urprise to me that my insides mach my unharmonized outsides. And I'm taking a multivitamin. And I'm drinking red raspberry tea, because they say that it promotes good uterine health and increases your uterine lining. So what would happen if a man drank this stuff?!? It's pretty tasty actually. On cd 8- ovulation, I will be taking Estrogen twice a day. And, I'm taking Dostinex to control the high prolactin levels. I've also heard that something called CQ10 is supposed to increase the lining measurement. I'm considering taking it, but not sure if it's safe to take with Clomid and estrogen and all these other meds. But at this point, I'll try anything. I'm a walking drugstore. If I stand on my head I will dispense medication for you.

A special thiank you to those of you who have given me comments and support. I'm so glad I decided to delurk and start blogging. This IF community is wonderful and supportive and although I don't know you guys personally, I feel so connected and overwhelmed by the genuine sense of caring. It really warms my heart. It sucks that any of us have to be down this road, but I couldn't think of better co-pilots for this journey.