Stay with me

That's my message to the little embie growing inside me. I got my blood tests back yesterday from my RE's office, and my HCG doubled to a very respectable 631 at 16dpo. However, my progesterone dropped pretty drastically to 15 (from 24.2 on Tuesday). Please please tell me it's not all over. I'm panicking. My RE's office has been really frustrating. They called me yesterday to report that my bloods came back fine, with the exception of low progesterone and they want me to be supplemented. That's all the said. Is this an appropriate message to leave for a woman who had a miscarriage, came within degrees of losing her fertility for good from a screwed up D&C and is scared shitless to find herself pregnant again?!?! I am scarred from my last miscarriage expereince (bad pun intended). How about a little reassurance. How about a call form my actual RE congratulating me and telling me he's on the case. Where's the love I ask.

So I called them back and it took 2 rounds of phone tag to get my actual numbers. They gave me the actual #s without any context of what they mean. Thankfully I have terrific friends and bloggers out there who have taught me so much about what my levels should be and what to look out for. I know a progesterone level of 15 isn't so horrible, but I'm freaking out that it dropped so quickly in such a short period of time. I'm now on Promethium insertions twice a day with the hopes of maintaining my progesterone levels. Vaginal insertions - fun fun. I asked the nurse how immediately should I start taking the Prometrium, and she gave me a wishy washy answer. She said take them whenever you feel like it, and that the morning would be fine. That wasn’t good enough for me so I rushed to the pharmacy after work so that I could pick up the prescription and start taking the meds right away. I get to the pharmacy only to find out they don’t have a Prometrium prescription for me. So of course more panic sets in, the tears come pouring out and I'm a mess. The pharmacist however was amazing. She called my RE's office, but since it was after 6 PM she got their answering service. She told me she couldn't fill my prescription without a script so we both freaked out together. The answering service at my RE's office told her that a doctor couldn't be reached until the morning because technically this wasn’t an emergency. Thankfully this pharmacist was awesome. Perhaps she was moved by my tears and the pathetic look of fear on my face. She started calling their other locations in the city to see if any of their sister pharmacies had my script. Sure enough, one did. So crisis was averted and I got my pills and all is well I hope. But isn't it so irresponsible of my RE's office to call a prescription in for me to the wrong pharmacy. Sometimes I really wonder that they have my best interests at stake. I'm simply a statistic for them. So why should they care if I get my progesterone, if I stay pregnant, if I ever have a baby?

Today I went online and read that once pregnancy levels have been detected, progesterone supplements won't do anything to raise the levels. You need to start taking them before a positive hpt. Please tell me this isn't true and it's not all over for me. I'm hanging on to hope by a very thin thread. Sometimes the internet is my best friend and worst enemy and it's hard to refrain from overacting about every little thing I read.

I'm scheduled to go back to the RE next Friday for a follow up. I will be 5w3d then. However, I'm told that if I'm really concerned, I could go in for another blood test on Monday, although it won't show much. Whatever will be will be I guess.