When Life Gives You Lemons

Trying to make the most out of infertility, and life in general. This is my journey to conceive, after a miscarriage and D&C that left me with Asherman's Syndrome.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

And also, baby mail

What also makes me upset today is the non-stop baby related mail that seems to be coming to my house on a regular basis. I know when I was first pregnant, my OB at the time discussed my options for delivery and told me she was affiliated with NYU hospital. She must’ve let them know to expect me to come in sometime in Feb. 06 for a delivery, which obviously never happened. I can understand them putting me on some sort of mailing list; they sent me an info packet with congrats on my pregnancy, an all about your pregnancy guide type of mailing, and what to expect from their staff at delivery time. I read this with excited, baited breath, because at the time I received this, I was still pregnant. But don’t they realize I never came in for a delivery? My baby was never born, so why are they still harassing me with mail? Are they the ones that told Sears I should receive a special discount for family holiday photos which prompted Sears to send me postcards with other people’s happy smiling kids on them during the holidays? Are they responsible for releasing my name to the local Y, so that they can let me know about their latest daycare options and classes for me and my baby?!?!?! The worst of these was the mail piece I got from the cord blood registry. It talked about how my baby’s cord blood can one day save my life and the lives of my future children, when in actually, the miscarriage I had might have ended the chance that I’d ever have future children. I can’t stand it. Its easy enough to throw out all the pregnancy stuff, or even hold on to it with hopefulness for the future, but the baby stuff is ridiculous. In the last year, I’ve received diaper samples, formula samples, pamphlets on breastfeeding, information on daycare and baby classes, Yoga with your baby, Sears portrait studio mailings, and the list goes on. Do you guys all get this kind of crap in the mail to? How do you deal with it?


  • At 12:10 PM, Blogger The Town Criers said…

    Holy S--t! I don't even know how you take your name off these lists, but I think you send a scathing letter to the hospital or wherever you think it originated. I've never received those things and I think it would send me over the edge. Make me chuck cans of formula at someone's head.

    I am so sorry. I wonder if you can put a block on certain types of mail via the post office.

  • At 12:38 PM, Blogger VanillaDreams said…

    Yes, if I were you I'd start with a letter to the hospital, where this all orginated, telling them about the m/c and that you don't appreciate receiving daily reminders in the mail about your loss!!!

    I'm "lucky" in the sense that very few knew of my pregnancy, and the only place that has my name is a maternity store that emails me promotions and sales every couple of months. Which, is not TOO terribly bad, I guess. I just keep hoping that one day I'll actually be able to go back there and shop for myself again!!!!! Argh.

    So sorry about you are going through, that sucks!!

    Nilla @ Vanilladreams

  • At 1:15 PM, Anonymous Jennie said…

    Oh, I'm so sorry for what you have been going through the last couple of days, I know it's Hell. I have a hard time with those "anniversaries" too.

    I can't believe in this day and age the Drs. office would be so ignorant to put you in a room like that. They should have known better. You'd think that someone there would have had compassion to move you somewhere a little more private.

    In the late 60's my aunt had an etopic pregnancy and they put her in the maternity ward to recover. She was amongst several women who had just delivered and were receiving flowers and baby gifts and congrats! Nice huh? You'd think times were changed but I guess not.

    And yes, I got tons of baby mail and diaper coupons and formula samples too! I guess companies are so eager to make money they don't consider all of us who miscarried. They don't care as long as they can still reach the women who succesfully delivered. Jerks! At first I saved some of them thinking I would get preg. right away afterwards, but now I rip them up and throw them away.

    I hope your days get better soon.

  • At 2:29 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    I am so sorry you're having to go through that. I just can't believe there's such a mailing list.

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger soralis said…

    Oh my that must be horrible. I would be sending these products back with a letter.

    Take care

  • At 3:29 PM, Blogger Thalia said…

    Aren't there addresses you can write to to stop junk mail? I'm sure there are. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this at such a painful time.

  • At 5:34 AM, Anonymous annmarie said…

    My babt mail just sort of phased itself out. You made the list somewhere, and the bastards will just bombard you with it until they have nothing else to say...just rip it up and pretend you never got it. I do that with baby shower invites. :) works great

  • At 6:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ugh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It happened to me too, and it's defintely like having salt rubbed in a very raw wound. I believe that my baby mail was the result of signing up to get weekly updates from BabyCenter. They continued to send those stupid emails too, even after I notified them that the pregnancy had ended. I actually wrote them a scathing letter telling them that the $.45 they earned from selling my name and address caused me more heartache and pain than they could ever imagine. Even though I just got a standard pre-written response from them, the process of writing the letter was definitely cathartic.

    Hang in there girl.

    Love ya,

  • At 9:00 PM, Blogger Kris said…

    I'm so sorry about your difficult anniversary and all of the baby mail to boot. I just throw it out. It's subsided somewhat.

    Take care.

  • At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Lisa at Baby be Mine said…

    I am right there with you! I despise baby mail. My EDD was yesterday and I have been getting all sorts of samples in the mail for the past few months - formula, diapers, you name it. I wish I knew how to stop it!

  • At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thankfully, I am not on any mailing lists like that. I hope that you can somehow find a way to make it stop.

  • At 3:37 PM, Blogger SaraS-P said…

    I guess I am lucky I never got on a mailing list (or maybe I did and just never got it since I am in New Orleans and mail service is still somewhat limited). I am sorry you are having to go through this extra hassle! Throw it out! Hopefully the mail will taper off soon.

  • At 4:52 AM, Blogger ms. c said…

    That's just crappy. Sorry aobut the past couple of days. Sometimes bad stuff just hits you all at once. I agree with everyone else... try see if you can make the mail stop by writing to someone.

  • At 8:17 AM, Anonymous Melaniefaye7 said…


    I just had to comment about the baby mail thing. I get it something each week. My doorman has said mazel tov on like 3 occasions!! It is so embarrassing and I keep telling him I dont know why I get this stuff.

    You are so right, it is torture. I thought this only happened to me!

  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger dawn said…

    Someone else mentioned this already, but I was going to say that if you signed up with a web site like Babycenter.com, they sell your info.

    The same thing happened to me. The worst thing for me was coming home from the hospital after my D & C and having a card in the mail from my sister-in-law congratulating me and my husband on the pregnancy.

    The rest of the stuff, I could just toss out, but that one really hurt.

    i never send cards to expectant parents anymore because of that.

    I just want to wish you the best. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I pray for you that everything works out for you.


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